Frustrated/Rant

Today was good. However, emotionally it was not. I don't know if it's because my hormones are off kilter because I'm pregnant or if it's just "one of those days." I, for the first time in a long time, am sad and jealous of stay at home moms. I work four ten hour days a week. It could be worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful for my job especially in today's economy. God brought me this job and I was totally blessed by it. That's a story for another post I guess. Working for the government has a lot of perks and great benefits. My husband works full time and together, we are fortunate to bring home a lot more then our bills. But... there's always a but... we can't ever seem to get ahead because something always comes up. And now we're expecting our second child in November. I know at this point me staying home full time is not an option. Part time is but then again I risk the chance of losing a great job and significant income. I'm torn. I wish somehow I could keep the job I have and just work 2 or 3 days a week but that's not an option. We were blessed to not have to pay for daycare but I guess that will become a reality next year. My MIL can't watch a 3 year old and a baby it's just too much for her. It breaks my heart because I dont want my son to go to daycare or to a babysitter. I'm angry that this country's government does not give mom's at least the option of an acceptable length of time for maternity leave. It's absolutely ridiculous and barbaric. 3 months is a laugh. In Canada, you get a year. They're even thinking about extending it to 18 months. You would think that this country would at least have 6 months. It almost destroyed me when I had to go back to work after I had Josh. Babies get attached to their mommies and then they're gone. Anyway... rant over. I just wish I could spend my days at home with my amazing little man and soon to be little one.